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Spanglish

By: Selena Mercado

Growing up, my Mom's English was not as developed since she was not around it as much in her home country - Mexico. She spoke to my sister and I in mostly Spanish and tried to implement any English she knew. It was always easier for us to understand her Spanish since she was fluent in it. My sister and I quickly picked up on Spanish and became pretty fluent at a young age. Because our dominant language was Spanish, we communicated in it the most, allowing us to become pretty fluent at a young age. I quickly learned anything my sister would say or do because I looked up to her so much. Whenever she would come home from school, she would call for me by screaming "ya llegue" as soon as she walked into the door. While my sister was slowly picking up on English in school, she was still struggling to become 100% fluent in it. Whatever she learned in school she would attempt to teach me immediately. My journey to my fluent English felt extremely long and bumpy. Through this journey, I learned that literacy for me is being able to communicate with my loved ones in the way in which we are most comfortable in doing so.

My sister and I would always be outside playing after school when the weather was permitting without fail. We enjoyed spending time outside so much because of our immense love for nature. One afternoon, my sister and I were extremely excited to play soccer outside. We rushed home from the bus and changed into our soccer clothes. As soon as we got outside, it started raining, so our mom dragged us in. With a frown on our faces, we watched the rain from the living room window. Eager to get back outside, we convinced our mom to let us splash in the puddles outside until the rain stopped. We ran back outside and splashed one Another in the puddles. Two girls came running outside from the neighboring house and being the social child I was, I decided to go up to them.

"Hola, como se Haman?"

With a slight look of confusing on their face, the older girl responded for the both of them, "Our names are Fanny and Evelyn."

I remember thinking it was rude of them to respond in English when I had spoken to them in Spanish. I was able to forget about it when they decided to join us in splashing in the puddles. My sister, being the shy child she was, kept to herself for both of the time until Fanny broke the ice.

"How old are you girls?"

My sister hesitated to respond, embarrassed to share that we did not speak very much English. In the most understandable way, she explained to Fanny that she was nowhere near fluent in English. Fanny and Evelyn were very understanding of this and communicated with us in any way that they could. After our splashing session together, we started hanging out with them more consistently. One morning, they came knocking on our door.

"Hola amigas! Desayuno?"

It amazed my sister and I how well their Spanish had gotten with the short amount of time we had spent together. Before we knew it, my sister and I could hold a Spanglish conversation with Fanny and Evelyn.
Throughout my elementary school years, my English only got better, but it still was not at the level that my classmates were at. When I would be pulled out of my class to go to my ESL lessons, I always felt embarrassed.

"Where are you going?" my friends would ask.

I always acted like I did not hear them or as if I did not know where I was going in order to avoid answering their questions. My ESL teacher was so awesome at her job and helped me improve my English skills tremendously. I remember staying longer than I had to stay because we were always laughing and exchanging stories. I remember her kind words saying "you are always improving" and "you are one of my star students." Although I found it embarrassing to be pulled out of class because my English was not that great, I always enjoyed the time I spent with my ESL teacher.

In middle school, I no longer had to take ESL lessons because my English was considered "good enough" to get by. One day, I was walking down the hallway to my next class when this peer that I was not very fond of started making fun of my accent. Earlier that day, I had struggled to pronounce a word that I had been working on perfecting and he had remembered that. When some of my other peers joined him in making fun of my accent, the confidence I had been building up quickly diminished. I reported to my next class and asked the teacher to write me a pass to the nurse. I let the nurse know that I was not feeling well and my mom went to pick me up. I was too embarrassed to share this story with anybody, so I kept it to myself and instead said I was just having a bad stomach ache. The next day, I reminded myself that my own personal growth does not have to be at the pace as everyone else. Slowly but surely, I built that confidence back up and continued to work on my English pronunciation.

While my sister and I were working on improving our English, our mom was also working on improving hers. I remember having endless discussions on the correct pronunciation of certain words and pronouncing them wrong the whole time. I also remember coming home from school after learning the correct pronunciation of a word and eagerly sharing it with them. Because it is easier for a younger person to learn a new language as opposed to someone older, it was a little more challenging for my mom to pick up on English as fast as my sister and I were. My favorite memories of this journey with my mom and sister consisted of making dinner together. Because we were all trying to improve our English, we tried our best to implement it in our daily activities as much as we could. "Selena, can you pass my los tornates y cebollas please?"

Most of my conversations with my mom and sister included English and Spanish, or in other words, Spanglish. I still remember the sweet and tender feeling in my heart whenever I spoke to my morn and sister in Spanglish. When it was just the three of us, I always felt safe speaking in the way I felt most comfortable.

Whenever we were having our conversations during dinner preparation and my mom did not understand something, her eyes lit up when we explained it to her in Spanish. These moments and memories showed me that no matter what language or languages I spoke to them, my heart would be happy just because of the simple fact that I was able to communicate with them. My ability to speak in English, Spanish, and Spanglish allowed my heart to grow fonder and be open to expressing myself in various ways.

When I was finishing off my middle school years, we were required to take a reading and writing test that would essentially put us in the appropriate English class in high school. Because my English was still not where it had to be at my age, I did not get the best score on this test. Therefore, I was placed in a literacy class that was for students who needed help improving their English, such as myself. Scared that I would be made fun of again, I tried to avoid speaking to any of my classmates in this class. I kept to myself and finished all my work. For the first paper we had to write, I did not get a great grade, but I did get great feedback from my teacher. I studied her feedback and used it accordingly on the second paper we had to write. When handing back the second paper, the teacher did not give me mine and instead asked me to stay after class. Since I was never the student to get in trouble, my stomach was doing flips because of how nervous I was to stay after class.

"Selena, you have shown so much improvement just in the first two papers you have turned in!" Shocked to hear good news corning out of her mouth, I started to tear up. She explained to me that she saw so much potential in my writing and that I did not belong in her class. Full of emotions, I thanked her for the great feedback she had given me on the previous paper I wrote.

The next day, she again asked me to stay after class to talk to her. I was not as nervous this time because I was not expecting any bad news or to get in trouble.

"I spoke with your counselor and decided it would be best for you to move up to English I class next semester instead of being in my class." Being the emotional person I am, I began to tear up again. This all felt like a dream come true after so many years of hard work and dedication.

Although my teacher was not someone super close to me, I was still able to communicate with her in a way that was most effective. This allowed her to see my growth and potential. While I was extremely scared to be joining a new class with new students, I knew that I had worked extremely hard to move up and be at the same level as my peers.

I was able to improve my English skills exponentially in this class and this teacher too was able to see the potential in me and my writing. He recommended I be moved up to AP English my sophomore year instead of English II. Scared and nervous to take such a huge leap, I allowed my confidence to lead me to the decision of taking AP English. I absolutely loved the AP English course I took my sophomore year and decided to take AP English classes for the remainder of my high school career.

Although my English is not perfect, I know that it is a lot better than what it was like during dinner preparations with my mom and sister. I have learned to adjust my ways of communicating depending on who I am with and what I am trying to communicate. I have found different styles of communication to be more effective with different people, vise versa. I was able to build my confidence in my English enough to overcome the obstacles of being made fun of and not knowing whether I wanted to take a risk or not. I have been extremely dedicated to improving my English skills and have seen so much progress. Literacy to me is not just one form of communication, instead it is various forms of communication that are effective with different people.